Since 2001 I can't sleep very well. I have horrible nightmares every night. Maybe this is somewhat related to insomnia, although this happens to me even when I sleep regularly. I usually wake up at 3 or 4 AM, I go online and try to get back to sleep. Most of my nightmares are about my future, my life and the existence of my relatives and friends. Sometimes I watch them die, other times they blame me for something I didn't do or say or even they try to hurt me, though this last aspect is mainly related to people whom my brain generates by summing up bits and pieces of memories from my childhood. Sometimes it's like living in a movie, generally a fantasy movie where everything seems fine at the beginning and then the whole story or plot turns into a nightmare. I wake up soaked with sweat. Of course I tried almost everything to prevent this from happening, for example by avoiding stimulant drinks or smoking and the like, but it didn't work. Nightmares come back. Every night. Even in the afternoon, when I try to catch up with sleep, I have nightmares. That's why I'm so prolific on this blog. It's a way to encapsulate anxiety. It's a way to forget that it will be night again. Every day. Every night.

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